Save Your Breath
by bemyxluckyxcharm
Summary: Emma Nelson was happily dating Sean Cameron after he got out of jail, when she decides she NEEDS to tell him about her trips to the ravine about most two years ago, all hell breaks loose, which leads her to a friendship in someone unlikely.
1. Do You Know Knife In Your Back

**Title;** **Save Your Breath**

**Chapter 1; You're Too Beautiful and It's Late**

**Authors Note; **This is sort of spoiler-ish to the episode where Sean finds out about Jay and Emma's "secret". So if you aren't up for spoilers, I'd suggest waiting til after you see the episode.

**Disclaimer; **I don't own Degrassi, but I wish I did. If I did, Jay would become a stripper and Emma and Jay would be together, but hey! That's just me. Also I do not own the song Save Your Breath by Hit the Lights, which will be used often throughout the fanfic.

"…We weren't going out at the time, Sean. You have to understand that. You _need_ to understand that." Emma Nelson told Sean Cameron, trying to convince him that what she had just told him - about her trips to the ravine to hook up with Jay Hogart, his soon-to-be former best friend - wasn't as big of a deal as he was really making it.

"That fucking asshole! He forced you to do this didn't he?" He punched the wall and Emma looked away, almost scared of Sean's anger. "Didn't he?!" He yelled louder.

"No! He didn't. He didn't even ask me to go in that van, it was my idea! Don't pin this all on Jay." She said angrily, referring to the guy who was conveniently sitting in the other room listening to them yell at each other. When Emma had told Jay to go in the other room, he simply nodded; they had had a previous discussion about Emma telling Sean about what happened:

_Emma waited for Jay at his car, she needed to talk to him before Sean got out of jail._

"_Greenpeace, what are you doing now? Have you come to tell me about the latest save the seal campaign?" Jay smirked._

"_Uh, no. I gave up those campaigns almost two years ago, after…" She trialed off. "Anyways, we need to talk about something."_

_Jay nodded suspiciously, "Get in., I've got places to be. I'll drive you home." Emma got in the car and they sped off but she remained silent, unsure of how to word this. "Well, I haven't got all day, Greenpeace, so start talking or you're walking." _

_She sighed "Fine, I'm going to tell Sean about you and me."_

"_Whoa, whoa. There was never a you and me." Jay said smirking, looking her up and down._

_She rolled her eyes. "In your dreams, Jay. But I'm talking about the ravine." At the mention of those nights, Jay raised his eyebrows._

"_Are you fucking crazy? Sean is going to kill me." He said self-conceitedly. _

_Once again, she rolled her eyes. "I just wanted to pre-warn you that I _might_ tell him, I'm not entirely sure yet. I just want to be honest with him…"_

_After a few minutes of silence, Emma watched the tension and anger on Jay's face replace with some sort of caring. "Just… Just let me know before you do. If anybody knows Sean, I do. And when he's mad, he can get kind of physical. I don't want anything happening to you, so maybe I should be there or something."_

_Emma nodded, "Okay I will, thanks Jay."_

"_Don't say I never did anything for you, Greenpeace." He told her before she got out of the car._

And now here Jay was, sitting on the couch in Emma's house listening to Emma and Sean fight downstairs in her bedroom. Jay had purposefully opened the door to make sure he could hear if anything got too out of hand, plus then he could hear if Sean was coming upstairs.

"Don't tell me not to pin this on Jay. I know him a hell of a lot better than you do. But then again I always I thought I knew you but now I feel like I don't even know you. You're a slut, Emma Nelson. A slut." And with those two words part of Emma's world came crashing down around her. With those two words Jay was racing down the stairs.

"Don't you ever. I repeat. _Ever_. Call her that. Or you'll have to deal with me." Jay yelled at Sean, and Sean lunged at Jay.

"Where do you get any right to come down here and tell me what I should do and what I shouldn't do? Emma is _my_ girlfriend." Sean pushed Jay against a wall.

"Not anymore!" Emma yelled and pushed Sean away from Jay and towards the door. "Get out! Get out now!"

Sean walked out of the house, slamming the door behind him. Emma looked over at Jay, who was wide eyed. "Never thought you had that in you, Greenpeace." Emma tilted her head, confused. "I mean, I never thought you could tell Sean about that and then deal with him yelling at you and then, of all things, kick him out."

Emma shrugged, "I never knew either." She laughed stiffly, obviously hurt from what Sean had called her. "Thanks though, for coming down here."

"No problem, it's what…friends…are for." Jay nodded, walking away.


	2. Save Your Breath

**Chapter Two; I've Wasted All This Time on You.**

**Author Notes; **I wanted to get this new chapter at least started before the new episode premiered, which is in less than an hour. :D Thanks for all the reviews! And the POV for this chapter is Sean's. Wow. Just Wow. I just saw the new episode and can you say…disappointment much? I was hoping (and I know all my EmJay lovers did too) that there would be more emjay!

**Disclaimer; **I don't own Degrassi; if I did the line "She damn near begged me to do it" (Jay) would be out of the new episode and replaced with something that showed he still loves her. 3

-x-

Sean sat in his lonely apartment, blasting his iPod, throughout his new "home". He had some songs on there that reminded him of Emma; actually just about everything reminded him of Emma. Anyways, he listened to the words of the song "Save Your Breath" by Hit the Lights. Normally they weren't his type of band but it seemed almost fitting at the moment.

_Save your breath this time around  
You're too beautiful and it's late  
there's nothing left to say  
I've wasted all this time on you  
On you_

He was still furious, of course he was. You would be too if you found out your ex-girlfriend (then girlfriend again, now back to ex-girlfriend) had hooked up with your best friend (not anymore!) right after you left town. He had every right to be furious… and a little jealous?

_And every time I think of him it makes me sick  
And I don't wanna know just what happened then  
In the van right in front of my house_

Sean scoffed, he always thought Emma was better than that. Hooking up in a van? In the ravine of all places! Oh and don't forget the fact that she was with Jay Hogart, king of the scum. And the worst part of it, she got an STD from him! What Jay wasn't even considerate enough to use protection? He just couldn't fucking wait to get her head in his fucking pants that he couldn't spare two seconds to put on a condom! That idiot, he ruined Emma.

He thought back to the times when Emma and Jay were even near each other they'd fight about something or other. Like when Emma caught Jay stealing from the Dot, oh what a great fight that was to watch. "Chemical Spills… clean the ravine…" Sean said to himself, shaking his head. He couldn't help but wonder: did Jay really force Emma into this? If he did…Emma wouldn't of covered for him, that's not how she is. Sean shook his head again, shaking all that he knew about Emma, perfect Emma, because all of that was an obvious lie. He went back to thinking about Emma and Jay's encounters, his mind floated back to the day he left to go back to Wasega… they were closer then. They always stood near each other, and at the beach, Jay buried Emma and Sean remembered watching them smile at each other. Something was up. Something is still up.

_  
Every time you go to sleep at night  
I wonder what you hide behind closed eyes  
what else could you be keeping from me?  
What else could you be keeping from me?_

The last line lingered in Sean's head. What else was Emma hiding from him? Did she secretly have sex with Spinner? Get filmed naked by Peter? Was there a whole diary full of secrets that she had held from him? Sean couldn't stand it, but there was no way he could go talk to her. Not now, maybe he could never talk to her. In his eyes she was different, her whole life had changed so much since the shooting and Sean couldn't help but think he was the biggest cause of her changes.


	3. Love Like Winter

**Chapter Three; We All Make Mistakes**

**Authors Notes; **I've gone soft. I've read this over and over and there are only parts that seem like they are in character for Jay. I apologize if you hate me for totally mutilating Jay's character, but I'm a softy. Hell I bought an eeyore pillow today, god I love that thing. IT'S SO SOFT…sorry. Anyways, the Christmas theme was random but it helps because before the story wasn't in a certain time, so no one really knew, well now we know! And I was watching the polar express, and got in the Christmas spirit, making me want to make this chapter sort of Christmas related. Sorry for the slight delay. I hope you enjoy it. And I hope you review! Love, Bree.

**Disclaimer; **I don't own Degrassi or 25 Days of Christmas (trademarked by ABC Family)

-x-

"No offense, but it was a mistake, Jay. I shouldn't have gone down there that night." Emma informed Jay, he had stayed there, worried that Sean might come back and do something drastic. Emma's parents were gone for the next few days, visiting Spike's mom who was sick. Emma had told Jay he could sleep on the couch if he wanted. Jay had been kicked out of his house by his drunken mom for the third time this month and Emma felt bad for him so in thanks for sticking up for her, she let him stay.

"It was a mistake," Jay agreed. "But I think that if I had handled it better, it wouldn't have been. Even though it is a mistake, it doesn't mean I would take it back. I never told Alex for a reason." Jay looked at Emma for the first time, the whole time she was talking; he was paying attention but watching TV.

"Oh really? And what was that reason, Mr. Hogart?" She giggled slightly. She twirled and played with her hair out of pure boredom. She leaned back and closed her eyes, relaxing and waiting for Jay's answer.

"It was... nothing." He watched Emma lay back and couldn't help but realize how beautiful she was.

"Bullshit Jay, but I'm not gonna ask you to tell me if you don't want to." Emma yawned, she decided to take a small nap and without thinking she scooted towards Jay and rested her head on his shoulder. He instinctively wrapped his arms around her shoulders and watched her as she slowly drifted off to sleep before doing so himself.

-x-

Three hours later Emma awoke slightly, to see Jay's arm around her and her head nuzzled comfortably in his side, as he had fallen over during his sleep. Emma wondered how she got there, but didn't deny that she enjoyed it. She liked falling asleep like this, it made her feel safe. She had fallen asleep in Sean's arms, even Peter's, but nothing had felt like this before, and it made her question a lot of her morals and thoughts of Jay.

She slipped out of his arms, and frowned as she did so. She decided that having Jay over wasn't going to just make up for sticking up to Sean. She knew that they should go out, and have a little fun. Clean fun of course, like, go to the Christmas carnival that Degrassi was holding tonight. She got in the shower and cleaned up, and then when she got out she got dressed in dark rinse jeans, a red tank under a white long sleeve shirt with a black jacket that had a dark green lace embroidered on it. She put on her sexy black boots that had heels, and her red scarf. She fixed up her hair and make up before going upstairs.

She made it upstairs to see Jay awake and looking around for her, the second he found her his eyes widened "Wow. ." He said in amazement.

"This isn't a date, this is just two friends hanging out." She told him right away, "Now come on, go get ready, we've got a Christmas Carnival to go to."

"Um, okay. But I don't have any other clothes. ." Jay looked down at his black long sleeve shirt, which Emma thought he looked great in, and jeans. His black hat was on the floor, waiting for him to put it back on his head.

"That's okay, I just didn't know if you wanted to take a shower or. . something." Emma shrugged.

"Well, I'll go take a shower then, if that's fine with you. I could use something to wake me up the rest of the way, and then we can go to the carnival." Jay smiled.

"Okay, have fun, don't hurt yourself." Emma smirked playfully as Jay headed downstairs to her bathroom, she listened to the shower run as she watched an old Christmas show re-run on the '25 Days of Christmas.' It was one of those ones that was around thirty years old and made out of clay, and narrated by some guy that was probably dead by now. She heard the water shut off and a good ten minutes later Jay arrived again.

"Nelson, have you seen my hat?" Jay asked, "I thought I took it down there with me but then I couldn't find it. ." He looked sad, like the hat was his life.

Emma looked on the floor and found it, putting it on her head, "You mean this one?" She turned back to him, and Jay had to admit, it looked better on her than it did on him.

But he ignored his thoughts and took it off of her head "Only I get to wear this hat, and my girlfriend." He glanced at her, "But you sure as hell aren't my girlfriend."

Emma rolled her eyes, "Don't forget that I'm the one giving you the place to live, that right can be revoked at any time, and you don't have Sean to stay with. So without me you're homeless kid."

"That right can be revoked at any time." Jay mocked her, but then he got the death glare from her and he shut his mouth. "By the way, you're shampoo is a little too girly for my manly self," He paused. "But I like it. It gave my hair extra volume." Jay said in a gay voice, playing around.

Emma laughed at Jay's gayness, "Okay so are you ready to go? If we wait too much longer the rides will start closing, and it's just gonna get colder."

"Alright let's go." Jay nodded, grabbing his jacket as he walked out the door into the snow; he didn't slip it on just yet, as he wasn't cold. They got into his car and they headed to the school.

When they arrived the snow had lightened; now it was just a flake here and there. One fell on Emma's nose and she smiled, nose and cheeks pink from the cold. She looked as gorgeous as ever, Jay noticed. "Come on Jay, let's go."

They walked up to the counter where they paid their small fee to get in the carnival. JT, the cashier at the moment gave the two a weird look but brushed it off. They walked in and Emma looked around like a little kid on Christmas, the lights and the rides and everything made her happy. Until now she hadn't been in a Christmas mood, she had been dreading it. But being here with Jay and the lights, the little kids running around throwing snowballs, she couldn't help but feel absolute joy for the Christmas time to come.

"Well, Nelson, you were so anxious to get here, and now we're here and you're just standing there. Let's go ride some rides, eat some cotton candy. Anything. . your choice." He looked down at her, not wanting to move but to just stare at her. He had a bad feeling about this. . he thought he may be falling for. . Emma Nelson.

Emma took Jay's hand and led him to the roller coaster. "I hate heights, but I thought maybe you would want to go on it. ." She told him, smiling a little.

He nodded, "If you get scared, I'll be right next to you, you won't have to worry." They boarded the roller coaster and at the top of the highest hill, Emma found herself clinging onto Jay. They got off, "It wasn't so bad right?" Jay asked.

"Not really bad, but I still hate roller coasters." She frowned. After that they went on a few more rides, some of them Emma still clung onto Jay for dear life.

When the night started to cool down, Jay gave Emma his jacket. The rides started to close down and Emma and Jay left. They rode in silence back to her house, not an awkward silence but a satisfied silence. There was no tension, no anger, just silence. Comfortable silence. They got back to Emma's house and after a small goodnight, Emma headed down to her room and Jay made himself comfortable on the couch that Emma had set up for him, blankets and pillows too. He smiled as he smelled her vanilla shampoo on her pillow as he drifted off to sleep. Emma didn't realize she was still wearing Jay's jacket, but once she was in her pajamas she put the jacket back on, smiling as she smelled his scent on the jacket as he drifted off to sleep.


	4. It's Far Better To Learn

**Chapter Four; I'm Taking This For All It's Worth**

**A/N; **Sorry it took so long to update, I've had writers block on how I planned to write this chapter, plus school is hell. Anyways, I hope you like this chapter, and reviews are much appreciated! And don't shoot me if I spelled Mrs. H's name wrong ;)

-x-

"Oh hello Emma," Mrs. Hatzilacos opened the door for Emma. "How can I help you?"

Emma stepped into the office of Degrassi's principal and sat down across from her desk. To meet with Mrs. Hatzilacos meant Emma had to push her personal opinions of her aside. Despite the fact that Emma's dad, Mr. Simpson, had been caught kissing her almost two years ago, Emma still despised the woman. Emma forced a small smile and spoke, "I would like to discuss getting Jay Hogart back into Degrassi." Emma was met with a surprised look from her principal. "I know he did some bad things in the past, but I can tell you from personal experience, he's changed. And I'll do anything to help get him back on track and back at Degrassi."

"Well, Emma." Mrs. Hatzilacos got up and got Jay's permanent record. "He was involved in the shooting, there are cases of him stealing. I don't know that I can trust him to be here."

"All I'm asking is that you give him a chance, please. If he can't prove to you that he's changed by the end of this semester then you can kick him out again." Emma pleaded.

Mrs. Hatzilacos was silent for a few seconds, looking over Jay's records and thinking about what Emma had proposed. She then slowly nodded, "Okay, Emma, we'll give this a try, but you're going to have to tutor him if you expect him to walk at the end of this year."

Emma stood up, "Thanks, I promise, you won't regret this." Mrs. Hatzilacos smiled a nodded, holding open the door . Emma walked out and back to her last period class.

Her class seemed to drag on longer than ever, with the news of Jay coming back speeding around in her mind she couldn't focus and she just wanted to meet Jay now and tell him _now._ It probably didn't help her that she was stuck next to Sean Cameron and he had been glaring evilly at her since she had returned from the principals office. "Take a picture, it'll last longer." She told him icily. Just then the bell rang and she exhaled her breath and walked out of the class. She pulled out her phone and called Jay.

"Hello?" A groggy voice answered.

"You're kidding me right? It's three and you're _still_ asleep?" Emma asked.

"Oh, hey Emma." Jay laughed a little, "And it's not like I have to get up for anything."

"Well get up now and meet me at the dot in fifteen minutes, I have a surprise for you."

"Oh really now?" Jay asked, and Emma could _feel _the smirk over the phone.

"Jay." She said, annoyed. "Get your mind out of the gutter, and your hand out of your pants." She laughed a little.

He rolled his eyes although Emma couldn't see him. "I'll see you in fifteen minutes."

They hung up the phone and Jay started to get ready while Emma started the slow walk over to the Dot.

Fifteen minutes later Emma had just take a seat at a booth when a freshly showered Jay walked in the door.

"You have a surprise for me?" He asked, half seductively and half jokingly.

"Yeah, didn't I tell you to get your head out of the gutter?" She asked as he sat down.

They both just laughed.

"Anyways, you probably aren't going to be happy with this surprise. . But I worked hard to get it so you're just gonna have to do it anyway."

Jay eyed her suspiciously, "Go on. . ."

"I got you back at Degrassi. ."

"Em." He said, a hint of annoyance in his voice. "Thanks." He told her.

"You have to prove to Mrs. H that you've changed by the end of the semester, or else you're out of there. And I have to tutor you so you can walk at the end of this year. ." She told him.

"Changed? I've changed?" He asked, confused.

"You have in my opinion." Emma told him, and then ate a fry.

"That's a good thing though, right?"

"It got you back at Degrassi, so yeah it is." She smiled.

"When do I start?"

"Tomorrow." She laughed and he just sighed.

-x-

The next morning, Jay pulled up outside of Emma's house. He parked on the side of the road and honked his horn once, just as Emma had told him to do. Less than a minute later Emma popped out of the front door and she headed over to Jay's car. She got in, buckled up, and off they went for Jay's first day back.

When they arrived at Degrassi, a few stared, a few talked, but most didn't care. Mrs. H had managed to set up Jay in most of Emma's classes so that she could tutor him more effectively. After going off their separate ways to go to their lockers, they met back up in their first period class, they took a seat in the back row by Jay's request and class began.

By the end of lunch, most people had comprehended that Jay was back, and were over it, their new line of gossip was yet another steamy video released by Mr. Peter Stone, uncut and unrated. Emma always believed that boy was going to be the next Hugh Hefner.

Fifth period had just ended and Emma and Jay were about to head to their last period of the day when Sean Cameron bumped into Jay. "Hey, watch where you're going you little punk." Sean scolded what he expected to be a freshman, he looked down, anticipating someone shorter than him, then up, to see Jay staring down at him angrily.

"First of all, you should not be calling someone six inches taller than you a little punk, and second, maybe _you_ should be watching where you're going." Jay scoffed, and Sean turned a light pink.

"At least I didn't use my best friend's girlfriend to serial cheat on his girlfriend." He said half not making sense; he looked over at Emma in disgust.

"Look! We were not together, so you just need to get over that." Emma said, coldly.

"Besides man, it's not like you didn't fuck girls up in Wasega." Jay added. "Come on, Em, we're gonna be late for class." They started to walk away.

"We?!" He looked to Emma, "You got that low life bottom feeder back in this school?"

"You shouldn't be talking about low life bottom feeders, Sean. Take a look in the mirror." Emma said before turning on her heels and walking away, leaving Sean agape in the hallway.


End file.
